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Attached is my attempt (and solution) made a month ago.

I couldn't post it (or anything) after I registered as I was using mobile broadband and so my IP range was blacklisted.

The answer at the end is A = 13/3 * x^2 (I did this in rough then wrote up that "clean" version)
I'll dig up my old workings and explain if need-be.
Naturally I hope I didn't make a mistake

(A long-time follower of osdev stuff )

Combuster wrote:The cuts can not possibly bisect (bonus points from me if you prove that)

Sorry if I get considered a necro, but I can't believe no one took you up on this.

If the cut bisected on angle (making a 45-45 split), it would bisect the opposite angle( the compliments to make it a right triangle) as well. The second cut wouldn't have an angle to bisect, so as shown its impossible. Can I get bonus points?

Diagram: